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then

adverb

The word 'then' often weakens prose by creating a sense of hesitation or unnecessary sequencing. It can imply that the narrator is unsure about the flow of events, which disrupts the immediacy of the action. Moreover, 'then' can pad sentences, adding extra words without enhancing meaning. For instance, a character's actions can often stand on their own without needing a chronological marker. In many cases, deleting 'then' clarifies the narrative and strengthens the impact. Before: She walked to the door, and then she opened it. After: She walked to the door and opened it. Before: He finished his drink, then he left the bar. After: He finished his drink and left the bar. Before: They looked at each other, and then they smiled. After: They looked at each other and smiled. 'Then' can earn its place in dialogue, particularly when a character is recounting events or expressing thought processes. For example, a character might say, "I finished my homework, then I went out to play," to convey the sequence of events in a casual manner. This usage reveals the character's thought pattern and adds authenticity to their voice. If you remove 'then' and the sentence still conveys the same meaning, it was unnecessary clutter.

Watch for these patterns

  • Look for 'then' in action sequences. If the actions are clear, remove it.
  • Watch for 'then' in internal thoughts. It often slows down the narrative.
  • If 'then' appears multiple times in a paragraph, consider deleting all but one instance.